The Dangers of Shopping Addiction Part 1

Shopping addiction is a term that is fairly new and unheard of to many people. I had heard of it but never, ever thought about it in terms of myself. It was something that happens to other people, not me. Besides, I didn't have enough money to have a Shopping Addiction. Boy was I wrong! Wrong on so many accounts and on so many levels. I indeed had a "Shopping Addiction".

There is just so much on Shopping Addictions that I will take this one step at a time. I am going to start with the "Warning Signs"

1. Your budget is suffering and you don't keep track of your budget. I would buy something, knowing full well that the money was not there to buy it. After awhile I was regularly bouncing charges. In three months time I had spent $1500 in insufficient funds fees. After a time I stopped keeping track of how much money I had and how much I was spending. For years, I carried and kept no checkbook register at all. I just relied on the "Grace of God" to keep me within budget, knowing full well that I wouldn't.
2. Compulsive or Impulse buying. A BIG one for me! I would go in for a gallon of milk and spend $100 or more on groceries and just general stuff. The worst for me was the "Sale" and "Clearance" items. I felt like I could not pass them up. The "what if I find myself needing it later and can't afford it?" question almost always won out. I can't tell you how many times my husband has heard, "But it was on sale!"
   
3. Justifying The Spending. I would tell myself all the time, "I was buying it for my kids, so it was okay" or "I was buying food which is necessary". But I would have totally overspent and I knew it. There were so many times I would justify the spending with, "But we need it". Fast food even became a problem. I still have a hard time being in the car without having something to eat or stopping to pick something up.
   
4. Denial. I was not always willing to tell my spouse how much I had spent and after awhile that I had spent anything at all!
5. Juggling Spending Accounts. I started to notice myself trying to juggle my spending accounts and bills to allow for the extra purchases I had made as well as to give some "extra" spending money. The bills were not getting paid, I would have the money spent before I sent out the check. Then I would have to wait for the next pay check to pay that bill.
   
6. Spending Becomes a Chronic Problem. When it is not just a Christmas Spending Spree, but an After Christmas, a March Madness, a Presidents Day, Easter, Spring, 4th of July and everyday thing. I would spend like it was Christmas every month of the year!
7. Guilt. Guilt is another big one for me. I would start to feel guilty for having bought it and intend to return it or even manage to return it. But it got so bad that I was always keeping the receipts and the boxes and the tags for everything. I even bought something once intending to take it back later! "I just needed to own it. "
8. Spending Money as a Result of Being Angry, Depressed or Hurt. After a hugely emotional situation with my Husband, I took my sister and we went shopping. Anytime I would get down, I would go shopping to make myself feel better. For some with Shopping Addiction, this actually works, others like me are left feeling even worse because of the guilt.
   
9. Feeling Lost Without Some Means of Spending Money. I would get so anxious without my credit or debit cards that I would break a sweat, I would start to panic. I needed to have my credit cards, in case something happened. (Like I got hungry!) but it was a legit panic that would set in.
   
10. Excessive Debt. This also includes bills not getting paid, and the creditors calling you regularly. Your utilities getting shut off before you pay them. Your bank accounts getting closed due to insufficient funds. I have been there too. All of it, the water shut off, the gas shut off, the bank accounts closed. I even had my husbands account closed that he has had since high school.
    
11. Lying and Blaming Others. Then comes the lying to cover the problems. It was something else that caused it. There was a power outage. That company promised me they would not cash my check until such and such a date and they cashed it early, resulting in all the insufficient funds fees. I didn't know the account was that low. Blaming others, why didn't you tell me the account was low? (like it was the banks job to call me!)
    
12. The Cluttered House. Here is the one that first clued me into my having a problem. I saw other peoples homes, nice and neat looking upper class and I desperately wanted their home. So I would go out and buy stuff to decorate my home or furnish my home and it would get even more cluttered. Then the next time, I would do the same thing until my home is filled, wall to wall with clutter. One day, as I was sitting in my living room, I realized that it was all the "stuff" that made my house look worse than someone elses. I had so much stuff that nothing had a place anymore. I had mismatched decorations and it looked a mess. Clutter everywhere. That's when I realized that I had a shopping problem. I was buying stuff to make myself look like I had money when if fact I didn't have the money and the effect was just the opposite. I looked poor and messy.
    

I have said it and done it all and my husband has been SO good to stand by me and not run screaming in the other direction. I have alot of reasons why and from where my Spending Addiction came. I have done alot of soul searching and discovered the point in which it started. And now, by the "Grace of God" I can see that I have a problem and I have started taking steps to correct the problem.

Keep an eye out for Part two of "The Dangers of Shopping Addiction" I should be posting it next Wednesday.