I Need A Receptionist

I decided that with five kids in 7 different activities, a husband that is constantly recruited to help other people and me working two jobs, sometimes three, I need a receptionist. Can you imagine it? I would have a cute little reception desk set up in my entryway, next to a little sidebar with a potted plant and a coffeemaker. There would sit a nice little old lady (no bouncy little blonde's allowed in this house!) and she would gently remind us when it was time to leave for our various activities, answer the myriad of phone calls that come in throughout the day. Help the kids with their homework and check to make sure they have no missing assignments, pay the bills and gather sort and file all mail and file all other important papers that enter my home. How happy my home would be!